I’m not saying goodbye

I have crazy dreams many nights. They are typically those from which I wake and, having to use the restroom at some dark hour, continue to ruminate on in a half-sleepy state for a few minutes guaranteeing that I will remember the ridiculous mental escapade when my alarm juts me from my slumber at 6AM. And inevitably I think: Where the hell do these crazy dreams come from?!

Example? The other night I dreamed I was decapitated right above the shoulders and then my head was sewed back on and magically better, but for some reason I had to die anyways. I spent the whole dream saying tearful, mournful goodbyes to the people in my life that I love most. My coffin was waiting as I hugged my friends, cried with my family, and all-the-while I was discussing what would be the best way to go. Finally settling on antifreeze (cats drink it because it is sweet – so maybe it would work for me…), I woke up.

Not quite sure where the decapitation thing came from. Perhaps it is an analogy for the amazing ability yoga gives me to escape my mind and get into my body instead, which I did before I pooped out on the couch. The “saying goodbye” part really stuck with me for two reasons. 1. I had discussed my grandfather’s death that day and how I didn’t say a real “goodbye,” (hence, the “death” part I gather) and 2. because I had debated the function of “goodbye” that evening. In the podcast Last Week on Earth with Ben Gleib (episode 8 [1/17/12] with Bobby Lee), comedian Ben Gleib shared some advice he received years before from comedian Bob Saget: never say goodbye at social functions. “You save half your time,” Gleib said. “I always have to have two interactions with almost everybody!”

This sounded like me. I do this everywhere, from small parties to huge art openings. I feel rude if I don’t say goodbye to those with whom I have relationships. Aren’t they important enough to find in the crowd before I depart? Hearing Saget’s advice made me question the benefits of the time expenditure. This practice adds probably twenty to forty minutes to my outings. So it begs the question, how much do others value the effort? If there was nothing more to say, why bother starting up the conversation again? Is it more awkward than jovial to say, “Hey I’m leaving! So nice to talk with you. Bye!” Really, do they care? I doubt it. They’ll see me again. And if they won’t, those folks probably really don’t care that I’m leaving!

So my new time-saving decision: I’m not saying goodbye to people at large social functions. At small social functions, I will use judgment and preference. I will convey my thanks to the host(ess), and then be on my way. One exception to this is family functions – as in my case I don’t see my family often. I insist on double encounters for the sheer purpose of increasing the amount of interaction in a tiny amount of time. And for hugs. I need a lot of hugs. I “build them up” for the days I am without physical proximity to my family. It tides me over until my next trek to the Midwest. :-)

Image by Joe Jarvis (joejarvis.net). Source, and an interesting post on manners: http://www.incivilian.net/2011/04/eco-etiquette-manners-and-environmental.html

This topic got me thinking about the efficiency of good manners. I wonder how many people skimp on courtesy in the interest of time. Why hold the door open for someone when I am late for my appointment? Who cares if I cut someone off when I need to make that green light? What is the point of the “How are you?” “I am fine, you?” “Fine, thanks.” exchange as you pass by in the hallway? Seems like wasted effort to some I bet.

Here’s the thing. I don’t think simple pleasantries are a waste of time. On the contrary, often these little interactions can change the tone of a person’s day. Let’s say I got in a heated tiff with my husband before he dropped me off for work. I’m in a poor mood, and being pleasant is at the bottom of my list. But then someone holds open the elevator door so I won’t have to wait for the next, and with a smile they joke about the weather or being half-way through the work week. I start to feel better. I might even smile. My nasty mood is already diminishing.

My point is – you never know the impact a simple courtesy can have on others. So I still make time for them. I won’t get much farther up the road by cutting off the car in front of me (most of the time you see them at the next red light anyhow). I won’t be more than 5 seconds later by holding open that door. And sometimes my “How are you?” is greeted with a genuine, “Ah! I’m great! How are you?!” which leads to a lively conversation that makes my day or changes me in some measurable way. The benefits cannot be measured by minor manners, but in the long run they make a difference.

So no, I might not talk say goodbye to everyone at a party anymore. But I’ll still make a point of trying to say a heartfelt “hello” to all of them! I just never know where it might take me!

More time for what matters

Source (and interesting post - good for reading!): http://synchealthblog.wordpress.com/2010/08/22/why-is-the-concept-of-a-work-life-balance-wrong/

I short while ago, I wrote a post about the demands of employers on their workers, such as expecting salaried employees to work regular 50 to 75 hour weeks. In an article written for Yes! Magazine, Juliet Schor shared an interesting perspective on why working less can make the hugest difference in one’s life. I particularly enjoyed her correlation between overworking and a need for more processed food, higher energy consumption, increased waste, and more expenditures. Are you finding yourself in that lifestyle (the hour commute each way, the take-out dinners)? Schor offers some easy actions to alleviate this dilemma, as well as terrific insights. I hope you will read the article.

And an argument for employers: imagine how much more dedicated, passionate, and energetic your workers would be if they felt they had quality of life aside from their jobs? I’d like to see thirty-two or thirty-six work weeks lasting four days! Any takers? ;-)

We aren’t hillbillies!

Source: http://domesticfuel.com/2011/01/13/iowa-to-get-another-ethanol-plant/

Go figure! Now that the Iowa Caucus is over I finally find a video that addresses my frustration with the whole thing! Before I share it with you, a little explanation:

The first caucus each election year is in Iowa, which was where I was born and raised. Moving to the northeast I’ve heard all sorts of warm (and some not so warm) jabs at my background as a Midwestern country gal. Most of the time I can take it. After all, before moving to New York I thought this place was riddled with crime and had very few trees (cement jungle, anyone?). When I said I was moving to Albany, people would remark, “Oh! The Big Apple!” No… more like 3 hours north. Lucky for me it turns out upstate NY is full of trees, country living, and mountains. Real small town up here. Gee wiz. Who’da thunk it?

The same stereotypes exist about Iowa. Rural folk, simple people; unwise to the ways of the world. Quilts. Homemade jam. Evangelical. Conservative politics. All trucks, no cars. Straw used as floss. Boots-wearing country boys. But even though I know these are innocent stereotypes or impressions, I have to admit I get tired of hearing, “Is Iowa really representative of America?  when it comes to caucus talk. I can think of quite a few states that, besides their metropolitan areas, are very much like Iowa. So I hope you will indulge me with this video (below). It made my day. Mainly because it is hard not to be frustrated when people imply your state is in some way “out of touch” with the rest of the world. That your family, your friends, your professors are all somehow not good enough to be first to choose. I mean… I grew up on an Iowa farm, educated at an Iowa state university, and I didn’t magically gain common sense or become liberal-minded when I stepped foot on urban soil!

So if you feel you are guilty of prejudging based on stereotypes (I’m guilty!), I suggest the next time you meet someone different you greet them with curiosity and an open mind. You can even acknowledge you may have existing stereotypes or preconceived notions. It’s only natural. It’s a big world. Hey, I even bet the person would be happy to politely fill you in on what you missed or misunderstood. At least, I know I would!

Now, on with the video. :)

PS – the video below has some explicit words. For a clean version, click here.

Resolutions: What are you, lazy?

Source: http://www.healthyoga.com/

How many of you have resolutions planned for tomorrow? Now, be honest. You may not technically have written them down, but I’ve bet you set some goals, formulated some loose parameters for growth and development, or declared passionately, “I’m definitely not doing XXX again!”  Am I right?

I think resolutions are crap. Not just because they never seem to work, but because they are always the same: a symbolic effort to be “better” that is never actualized in any meaningful way. It reminds me of my days as a Catholic, giving up chocolate for Lent every year (especially when already on a diet). Looks good on paper, but in the end what difference did it make?

Resolutions seem to focus on issues one isn’t fully invested in changing. Sure, somewhere inside I definitely do think blogging every day would be a great achievement… but I have other things that are at the top of my list (art, eating healthy, keeping meaningful relationships, and working my day job). So why bother making that my “resolution” in the first place? I’d be setting myself up for failure, only to take stock of 2012 in a year and feel disappointment.

Setting New Year’s resolutions are easy. Really they are. Here’s the drill: set up an impossible goal. Give it the college try for a week or a month. Slowly fizzle on the task by February at the latest. Forget you were doing it at all. Six months later remember the goal (bathing suit season anyone?) and decide that you gave up on it because it was too hard to do with your schedule. Resolve to set a better resolution next year.

So now that we have gotten that out of the way….

Why not make 2012 a better 2011? Easiest way to do that: take stock of 2011 and build only on the things that uplifted you. Those are the actions you’ll be thrilled to keep taking in the new year ahead.

Below are a list of questions to answer critically. Be honest. Be specific. But be nice to yourself. We are all works in progress. (Better at writing rather than thinking?  Click here to download a word doc so you can print it out  and post it on the fridge or something).

I’ll make mine public by jotting down some answers (in italics). Maybe it’ll give you ideas – or if you don’t care you can just breeze past my jabbering to the questions in bold!

:)

What were the biggest personal events of 2011? (Star which of these events were in my control – as compared to those that were due to unforeseen circumstances, i.e. illness.)
Kickstarter fundraiser for Be Nice., six art exhibitions, press interviews, curated my first art exhibition, first major career interview, artist talks and presentations, placed into leadership program at work, made a wonderful new friend, found Yoga, found a terrific community at Collar Works…

What difficult situations presented themselves and how did I handle them?
Major feeling of rejection with not being hired for an amazing job opportunity…. handled it by seeing the positive learning experiences from it, and the excitement from getting so close to being hired. Being pressed for time with a lot of events in a short amount of time…. handled it by asking for help and prioritizing. Also sadly let yoga slip in the process — feeling like I had to choose between my art or my wellness. Not prioritizing my health – but always treating art as THE priority created a conflict there. Didn’t handle so well – yoga stopped. But the desire is still there to rekindle the practice of yoga, so I know I will succeed at some point.

What can I take from these experiences into the future?
Hard work does pay off, but sometimes things aren’t meant to be. Don’t focus on one negative when there are so many positives right in front of me. Physical and mental health must come first before all else. If I can get that close to a great job in this economy, imagine what will happen when the economy recovers and when I have even more experience!

What did I accomplish that I was proud of? Nothing is too small.
Curating a great exhibition with positive feedback/reviews. Using administrative skills at the gallery and seeing new opportunity there. Yoga on a regular basis for three solid months. Successful Kickstarter project (thanks again everyone!!)! Eating salads for dinner twice a week = lost five pounds. Oatmeal for breakfast instead of cereal. Helping make my sister’s wedding special – including embroidering a gift for her. Officiating my friend’s wedding! Making it home to see my family. Sending art opportunities to friends and them successfully getting some of them. Some vacation time alone with my husband to CT – love that ocean over there!

What did I do that I wouldn’t care to do again (because I didn’t enjoy it, because it didn’t go very well…)?
Staying overnight at a hotel in Pennsylvania. Not a fan of that part of I-90 any more! Health insurance appeals – pure nightmare.

What did I do that I would like to do again? How can I build on these experiences?
Go to Iowa. Curate another exhibition (I love doing it – but it is time intensive, so maybe doing it on a smaller scale would be good so I can focus also on my art work). All the art stuff – shows, talks, etc. YOGA! That’s a biggie. I’d like this to become a “lifestyle” for me… but I’m running into road blocks. I’ll need to work on this. Visiting friends in down-state and up-state NY. Get to NYC more often-see more art.

What have I been doing regularly that I would like to continue? This might be smaller things – like flossing every day.
Listening to the news. Reading and advocating on political/social/environmental issues. Flossing daily. Eating healthy and no night-time snacking. Applying skills from leadership training into my life at home and at work.

Personally, how have I evolved over the last year? What were my big “lessons?” Am I still learning them, or do I feel like I am in a place to learn new things this coming year?
I’ve grown to be kinder to myself and like myself a bit more – especially my appearance. I’m a bit more lenient – not so militant about my eating. I feel I am more educated, and learning a great deal about office relationships, about my capabilities (art, professional) and where I’d like to go with them professionally. Still learning. Letting my activities support my interests – being very selective/strategic. Understanding “drama” for what it is: a distraction and petty. Evolution with family dynamics between my mother and myself. Big growth there in how we communicate. Still unlearning old unhealthy behaviors there.

What would I like to do more of in 2012 that I maybe didn’t do enough of in 2011? Why do I want to do these things? How will they benefit me (and others in my life)?
Yoga yoga yoga. Art art art. Because they make me feel good. Because they make my body/emotions/mind all work better. Because it supports my career aspirations. Because I like doing them and they are both a never-ending challenge that rely solely on my independent progression and development.

What am I grateful for?
Where would I begin? The things I shouldn’t take for granted are at the top of the list: being a free woman, health, family, husband, friends, job, insurance, car that works, a home that is awesome, landlord I hold dear, community of people whom I love and support and receive in return, student loan repayment flexibility to fit my income/situation. Music. Charity. Hugs. Warmth. Forgiveness. Laughter. Smiles. Sincerity.

How happy I am with myself as I am right now?
I am very content with myself and the things within my control. Just a few tweaks here and there. Happy with my process – pleased with my direction and attitude.

How did I surprise myself last year?
I care more than I realize sometimes. And as usual, I am always surprised when I do things well and they work out. Standards are so high for myself that I never expect success – just desperately hope for it. And when it happens: YAY!

:)

Bring it, 2012. I’m gonna kick your ass.

A warm and fuzzy story

Need a pick me up? Read about these generous people who are making some people’s holidays a little brighter and warmer.

Click the Santa… :)

source: http://santaletterss.com/2011/11/03/secret-santa-form/

 

Rights for all

I happened upon this while on Facebook and feel compelled to share it with you. Below is the full transcript of a speech by Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton given this week to the United Nations in Geneva.

I believe that all people are entitled to freedom from persecution for who they are. I hope you agree. I hope you will read her speech, as there are many teachable points in this transcript for all people from all backgrounds with a full spectrum of opinions. These points, I believe, are ideas we can express in all areas of our lives to become better people, better neighbors, and a better society for all. I have placed some of her points that I found especially moving in bold. (Source of transcript and link to video of speech.) Thank you, as always for reading.

SECRETARY CLINTON: Good evening, and let me express my deep honor and pleasure at being here. I want to thank Director General Tokayev and Ms. Wyden along with other ministers, ambassadors, excellencies, and UN partners. This weekend, we will celebrate Human Rights Day, the anniversary of one of the great accomplishments of the last century.

Beginning in 1947, delegates from six continents devoted themselves to drafting a declaration that would enshrine the fundamental rights and freedoms of people everywhere. In the aftermath of World War II, many nations pressed for a statement of this kind to help ensure that we would prevent future atrocities and protect the inherent humanity and dignity of all people. And so the delegates went to work. They discussed, they wrote, they revisited, revised, rewrote, for thousands of hours. And they incorporated suggestions and revisions from governments, organizations, and individuals around the world.

At three o’clock in the morning on December 10th, 1948, after nearly two years of drafting and one last long night of debate, the president of the UN General Assembly called for a vote on the final text. Forty-eight nations voted in favor; eight abstained; none dissented. And the Universal Declaration of Human Rights was adopted. It proclaims a simple, powerful idea: All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. And with the declaration, it was made clear that rights are not conferred by government; they are the birthright of all people. It does not matter what country we live in, who our leaders are, or even who we are. Because we are human, we therefore have rights. And because we have rights, governments are bound to protect them.

In the 63 years since the declaration was adopted, many nations have made great progress in making human rights a human reality. Step by step, barriers that once prevented people from enjoying the full measure of liberty, the full experience of dignity, and the full benefits of humanity have fallen away. In many places, racist laws have been repealed, legal and social practices that relegated women to second-class status have been abolished, the ability of religious minorities to practice their faith freely has been secured.

In most cases, this progress was not easily won. People fought and organized and campaigned in public squares and private spaces to change not only laws, but hearts and minds. And thanks to that work of generations, for millions of individuals whose lives were once narrowed by injustice, they are now able to live more freely and to participate more fully in the political, economic, and social lives of their communities.

Now, there is still, as you all know, much more to be done to secure that commitment, that reality, and progress for all people. Today, I want to talk about the work we have left to do to protect one group of people whose human rights are still denied in too many parts of the world today. In many ways, they are an invisible minority. They are arrested, beaten, terrorized, even executed. Many are treated with contempt and violence by their fellow citizens while authorities empowered to protect them look the other way or, too often, even join in the abuse. They are denied opportunities to work and learn, driven from their homes and countries, and forced to suppress or deny who they are to protect themselves from harm.

I am talking about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, human beings born free and given bestowed equality and dignity, who have a right to claim that, which is now one of the remaining human rights challenges of our time. I speak about this subject knowing that my own country’s record on human rights for gay people is far from perfect. Until 2003, it was still a crime in parts of our country. Many LGBT Americans have endured violence and harassment in their own lives, and for some, including many young people, bullying and exclusion are daily experiences. So we, like all nations, have more work to do to protect human rights at home.

Now, raising this issue, I know, is sensitive for many people and that the obstacles standing in the way of protecting the human rights of LGBT people rest on deeply held personal, political, cultural, and religious beliefs. So I come here before you with respect, understanding, and humility. Even though progress on this front is not easy, we cannot delay acting. So in that spirit, I want to talk about the difficult and important issues we must address together to reach a global consensus that recognizes the human rights of LGBT citizens everywhere.

The first issue goes to the heart of the matter. Some have suggested that gay rights and human rights are separate and distinct; but, in fact, they are one and the same. Now, of course, 60 years ago, the governments that drafted and passed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights were not thinking about how it applied to the LGBT community. They also weren’t thinking about how it applied to indigenous people or children or people with disabilities or other marginalized groups. Yet in the past 60 years, we have come to recognize that members of these groups are entitled to the full measure of dignity and rights, because, like all people, they share a common humanity.

This recognition did not occur all at once. It evolved over time. And as it did, we understood that we were honoring rights that people always had, rather than creating new or special rights for them. Like being a woman, like being a racial, religious, tribal, or ethnic minority, being LGBT does not make you less human. And that is why gay rights are human rights, and human rights are gay rights.
It is violation of human rights when people are beaten or killed because of their sexual orientation, or because they do not conform to cultural norms about how men and women should look or behave. It is a violation of human rights when governments declare it illegal to be gay, or allow those who harm gay people to go unpunished. It is a violation of human rights when lesbian or transgendered women are subjected to so-called corrective rape, or forcibly subjected to hormone treatments, or when people are murdered after public calls for violence toward gays, or when they are forced to flee their nations and seek asylum in other lands to save their lives. And it is a violation of human rights when life-saving care is withheld from people because they are gay, or equal access to justice is denied to people because they are gay, or public spaces are out of bounds to people because they are gay. No matter what we look like, where we come from, or who we are, we are all equally entitled to our human rights and dignity.

The second issue is a question of whether homosexuality arises from a particular part of the world. Some seem to believe it is a Western phenomenon, and therefore people outside the West have grounds to reject it. Well, in reality, gay people are born into and belong to every society in the world. They are all ages, all races, all faiths; they are doctors and teachers, farmers and bankers, soldiers and athletes; and whether we know it, or whether we acknowledge it, they are our family, our friends, and our neighbors.

Being gay is not a Western invention; it is a human reality. And protecting the human rights of all people, gay or straight, is not something that only Western governments do. South Africa’s constitution, written in the aftermath of Apartheid, protects the equality of all citizens, including gay people. In Colombia and Argentina, the rights of gays are also legally protected. In Nepal, the supreme court has ruled that equal rights apply to LGBT citizens. The Government of Mongolia has committed to pursue new legislation that will tackle anti-gay discrimination.

Now, some worry that protecting the human rights of the LGBT community is a luxury that only wealthy nations can afford. But in fact, in all countries, there are costs to not protecting these rights, in both gay and straight lives lost to disease and violence, and the silencing of voices and views that would strengthen communities, in ideas never pursued by entrepreneurs who happen to be gay. Costs are incurred whenever any group is treated as lesser or the other, whether they are women, racial, or religious minorities, or the LGBT. Former President Mogae of Botswana pointed out recently that for as long as LGBT people are kept in the shadows, there cannot be an effective public health program to tackle HIV and AIDS. Well, that holds true for other challenges as well.

The third, and perhaps most challenging, issue arises when people cite religious or cultural values as a reason to violate or not to protect the human rights of LGBT citizens. This is not unlike the justification offered for violent practices towards women like honor killings, widow burning, or female genital mutilation. Some people still defend those practices as part of a cultural tradition. But violence toward women isn’t cultural; it’s criminal. Likewise with slavery, what was once justified as sanctioned by God is now properly reviled as an unconscionable violation of human rights.

In each of these cases, we came to learn that no practice or tradition trumps the human rights that belong to all of us. And this holds true for inflicting violence on LGBT people, criminalizing their status or behavior, expelling them from their families and communities, or tacitly or explicitly accepting their killing.

Of course, it bears noting that rarely are cultural and religious traditions and teachings actually in conflict with the protection of human rights. Indeed, our religion and our culture are sources of compassion and inspiration toward our fellow human beings. It was not only those who’ve justified slavery who leaned on religion, it was also those who sought to abolish it. And let us keep in mind that our commitments to protect the freedom of religion and to defend the dignity of LGBT people emanate from a common source. For many of us, religious belief and practice is a vital source of meaning and identity, and fundamental to who we are as people. And likewise, for most of us, the bonds of love and family that we forge are also vital sources of meaning and identity. And caring for others is an expression of what it means to be fully human. It is because the human experience is universal that human rights are universal and cut across all religions and cultures.

The fourth issue is what history teaches us about how we make progress towards rights for all. Progress starts with honest discussion. Now, there are some who say and believe that all gay people are pedophiles, that homosexuality is a disease that can be caught or cured, or that gays recruit others to become gay. Well, these notions are simply not true. They are also unlikely to disappear if those who promote or accept them are dismissed out of hand rather than invited to share their fears and concerns. No one has ever abandoned a belief because he was forced to do so.

Universal human rights include freedom of expression and freedom of belief, even if our words or beliefs denigrate the humanity of others. Yet, while we are each free to believe whatever we choose, we cannot do whatever we choose, not in a world where we protect the human rights of all.

Reaching understanding of these issues takes more than speech. It does take a conversation. In fact, it takes a constellation of conversations in places big and small. And it takes a willingness to see stark differences in belief as a reason to begin the conversation, not to avoid it.

But progress comes from changes in laws. In many places, including my own country, legal protections have preceded, not followed, broader recognition of rights. Laws have a teaching effect. Laws that discriminate validate other kinds of discrimination. Laws that require equal protections reinforce the moral imperative of equality. And practically speaking, it is often the case that laws must change before fears about change dissipate.

Many in my country thought that President Truman was making a grave error when he ordered the racial desegregation of our military. They argued that it would undermine unit cohesion. And it wasn’t until he went ahead and did it that we saw how it strengthened our social fabric in ways even the supporters of the policy could not foresee. Likewise, some worried in my country that the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” would have a negative effect on our armed forces. Now, the Marine Corps Commandant, who was one of the strongest voices against the repeal, says that his concerns were unfounded and that the Marines have embraced the change.

Finally, progress comes from being willing to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. We need to ask ourselves, “How would it feel if it were a crime to love the person I love? How would it feel to be discriminated against for something about myself that I cannot change?” This challenge applies to all of us as we reflect upon deeply held beliefs, as we work to embrace tolerance and respect for the dignity of all persons, and as we engage humbly with those with whom we disagree in the hope of creating greater understanding.

A fifth and final question is how we do our part to bring the world to embrace human rights for all people including LGBT people. Yes, LGBT people must help lead this effort, as so many of you are. Their knowledge and experiences are invaluable and their courage inspirational. We know the names of brave LGBT activists who have literally given their lives for this cause, and there are many more whose names we will never know. But often those who are denied rights are least empowered to bring about the changes they seek. Acting alone, minorities can never achieve the majorities necessary for political change.

So when any part of humanity is sidelined, the rest of us cannot sit on the sidelines. Every time a barrier to progress has fallen, it has taken a cooperative effort from those on both sides of the barrier. In the fight for women’s rights, the support of men remains crucial. The fight for racial equality has relied on contributions from people of all races. Combating Islamaphobia or anti-Semitism is a task for people of all faiths. And the same is true with this struggle for equality.

Conversely, when we see denials and abuses of human rights and fail to act, that sends the message to those deniers and abusers that they won’t suffer any consequences for their actions, and so they carry on. But when we do act, we send a powerful moral message. Right here in Geneva, the international community acted this year to strengthen a global consensus around the human rights of LGBT people. At the Human Rights Council in March, 85 countries from all regions supported a statement calling for an end to criminalization and violence against people because of their sexual orientation and gender identity.

At the following session of the Council in June, South Africa took the lead on a resolution about violence against LGBT people. The delegation from South Africa spoke eloquently about their own experience and struggle for human equality and its indivisibility. When the measure passed, it became the first-ever UN resolution recognizing the human rights of gay people worldwide. In the Organization of American States this year, the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights created a unit on the rights of LGBT people, a step toward what we hope will be the creation of a special rapporteur.

Now, we must go further and work here and in every region of the world to galvanize more support for the human rights of the LGBT community. To the leaders of those countries where people are jailed, beaten, or executed for being gay, I ask you to consider this: Leadership, by definition, means being out in front of your people when it is called for. It means standing up for the dignity of all your citizens and persuading your people to do the same. It also means ensuring that all citizens are treated as equals under your laws, because let me be clear – I am not saying that gay people can’t or don’t commit crimes. They can and they do, just like straight people. And when they do, they should be held accountable, but it should never be a crime to be gay.

And to people of all nations, I say supporting human rights is your responsibility too. The lives of gay people are shaped not only by laws, but by the treatment they receive every day from their families, from their neighbors. Eleanor Roosevelt, who did so much to advance human rights worldwide, said that these rights begin in the small places close to home – the streets where people live, the schools they attend, the factories, farms, and offices where they work. These places are your domain. The actions you take, the ideals that you advocate, can determine whether human rights flourish where you are.

And finally, to LGBT men and women worldwide, let me say this: Wherever you live and whatever the circumstances of your life, whether you are connected to a network of support or feel isolated and vulnerable, please know that you are not alone. People around the globe are working hard to support you and to bring an end to the injustices and dangers you face. That is certainly true for my country. And you have an ally in the United States of America and you have millions of friends among the American people.

The Obama Administration defends the human rights of LGBT people as part of our comprehensive human rights policy and as a priority of our foreign policy. In our embassies, our diplomats are raising concerns about specific cases and laws, and working with a range of partners to strengthen human rights protections for all. In Washington, we have created a task force at the State Department to support and coordinate this work. And in the coming months, we will provide every embassy with a toolkit to help improve their efforts. And we have created a program that offers emergency support to defenders of human rights for LGBT people.

This morning, back in Washington, President Obama put into place the first U.S. Government strategy dedicated to combating human rights abuses against LGBT persons abroad. Building on efforts already underway at the State Department and across the government, the President has directed all U.S. Government agencies engaged overseas to combat the criminalization of LGBT status and conduct, to enhance efforts to protect vulnerable LGBT refugees and asylum seekers, to ensure that our foreign assistance promotes the protection of LGBT rights, to enlist international organizations in the fight against discrimination, and to respond swiftly to abuses against LGBT persons.

I am also pleased to announce that we are launching a new Global Equality Fund that will support the work of civil society organizations working on these issues around the world. This fund will help them record facts so they can target their advocacy, learn how to use the law as a tool, manage their budgets, train their staffs, and forge partnerships with women’s organizations and other human rights groups. We have committed more than $3 million to start this fund, and we have hope that others will join us in supporting it.

The women and men who advocate for human rights for the LGBT community in hostile places, some of whom are here today with us, are brave and dedicated, and deserve all the help we can give them. We know the road ahead will not be easy. A great deal of work lies before us. But many of us have seen firsthand how quickly change can come. In our lifetimes, attitudes toward gay people in many places have been transformed. Many people, including myself, have experienced a deepening of our own convictions on this topic over the years, as we have devoted more thought to it, engaged in dialogues and debates, and established personal and professional relationships with people who are gay.

This evolution is evident in many places. To highlight one example, the Delhi High Court decriminalized homosexuality in India two years ago, writing, and I quote, “If there is one tenet that can be said to be an underlying theme of the Indian constitution, it is inclusiveness.” There is little doubt in my mind that support for LGBT human rights will continue to climb. Because for many young people, this is simple: All people deserve to be treated with dignity and have their human rights respected, no matter who they are or whom they love.

There is a phrase that people in the United States invoke when urging others to support human rights: “Be on the right side of history.” The story of the United States is the story of a nation that has repeatedly grappled with intolerance and inequality. We fought a brutal civil war over slavery. People from coast to coast joined in campaigns to recognize the rights of women, indigenous peoples, racial minorities, children, people with disabilities, immigrants, workers, and on and on. And the march toward equality and justice has continued. Those who advocate for expanding the circle of human rights were and are on the right side of history, and history honors them. Those who tried to constrict human rights were wrong, and history reflects that as well.

I know that the thoughts I’ve shared today involve questions on which opinions are still evolving. As it has happened so many times before, opinion will converge once again with the truth, the immutable truth, that all persons are created free and equal in dignity and rights. We are called once more to make real the words of the Universal Declaration. Let us answer that call. Let us be on the right side of history, for our people, our nations, and future generations, whose lives will be shaped by the work we do today. I come before you with great hope and confidence that no matter how long the road ahead, we will travel it successfully together. Thank you very much.

work work work

Source: http://hr.ucsb.edu/worklife/

In a training at work the other day the presenter said, “Effective communication and group dynamics are so important at work. After all, we spend more time with our coworkers than we do with our families.”

What?! More time at work than at home? Forever? That really bummed me out.

I mean, it isn’t depressing if, say, you work with your loved ones or really love the ones with whom you work. But is that fairly common? Not for most I’d say.

Thinking later on the quality of my work-life and that of others, it occurred to me just how many salaried employees work through their lunches and breaks. I see it daily at my job across all levels of position, both hourly and salaried. My sister regularly pulls 50 to 70 hour work weeks on her salary, and still she works through her lunches and never takes breaks. It is hard to believe she is weighted with so many tasks that she must work 1.5 times a standard work week and still bypass her break times.

When did being salaried mean doing the work of two or more people? That people are given such tremendous work loads they cannot manage to take breaks is unacceptable. Though their jobs promise breaks and offer lunches by law, those same jobs demand so much as to make taking them logistically impossible. Employees know every minute not spent working is another minute they are staying late and kept away from their lives. It is a common conception amongst many that once you start a salaried job – though you may be paid more than hourly waged jobs – you are worked up to twice as much.

Companies that allow these workloads – unknowingly or not – are very much to blame. What choice do the workers have? They could take the breaks, go home “on time,” and not finish their work by the assigned deadline. But this behavior will likely land them in unemployment lines. The employees could bend the rules, skip some steps, and do some short cuts, but often that too will cause them to be fired or for customers to suffer. Employees could work hourly some place else, but those designations often signal lower wages and less secure employment.

Companies promote wellness incentives (because it lowers their healthcare costs in the long run) and offer training in “time management” or other boosters to performance. But these seem superficial when the same employers are piling work on employees in unrealistic amounts (and when employees meet that expectation, the employer often expects even more the next time around).

How can a worker take their break and go out for that “wellness walk” if s/he doesn’t have the time to leave his/her desk? Taking a break is effectively taking time from their families and homes. How can a worker possibly have any quality of life if they are given the work load of two full-time employees? Companies may say this is a cost-effective measure, that they had to cut waste. But what about changing their bottom line? What about changing the nature of corporate culture? Why not change the structure of the company so its employees are doing the work of one person each, and having an actual quality of life. This sounds like an excellent solution compared to the theoretical ones shared over email or by external consultants hired to figure out just why the company’s work force is so miserable and unhappy.

Luckily there is are a slew of people and organizations interested in these types of issues. The Happiness Initiative is centered around the economics of happiness. What they and others (such as Edward Diener, Ph.D., the country of Bhutan, and a number of American cities and international countries) suggest is that countries base our economies not on the gross domestic product (which includes growth from negatives such as oil spills), but on the U.S. Genuine Progress Indicator or the Gross National Happiness index. These indexes focus on “psychological well-being, physical health, work/time balance, education and capacity building, cultural vitality and access to arts and culture, environmental quality and access to nature, apt governance and material well-being” (de Graaf, Sechrist source) as their measure for how successful an economy really is. In times like these, I cannot imagine a better way to judge progress and to judge our actions and governance.

I urge you to read the article from which I quoted “The Economics of Happiness: The New Economy” by John de Graaf and Linda Sechrist. I also highly recommend taking the survey on The Happiness Initiative website. How happy are you? Find out there, and fuel their research!

Tomorrow I will post my personal assessment based on tips to improve personal happiness. Perhaps you will see come things we have in common, or have your own modes of being happy that you would like to share!