Dressing for the occassion

I’m getting married this year to a pretty terrific guy. And the wedding is not your typical white wedding: no white dress, no penguin suit, no bridal party, no church, no diamond ring, no white cake… you get the idea. But when my beloved said he wanted to wear a Tuxedo T-Shirt to our nuptials, I had to say, “Oh, hell no.”

There’s a lot of debate between him and I about dressing up for occasions.  Should someone wear clothes they would otherwise not even have in their closet if they feel like they must, out of respect?  I say yes. He says… NO!  It’s a tricky situation. He wants to be himself. He doesn’t wear dress pants and dress shoes, ties or tucked-in shirts.  And he has more respect for other people (truly) than some others who make the gesture of respect in appearance but don’t act with the same respect through their words and actions. And of course there is the question, what is it going to hurt to put on a dress outfit to show that person you care about their important day or event?  His question is, how is it really hurting that person to let their friend/colleague be himself?

So the question is, do you conform to society’s rules–even if it makes your stomach turn–to show respect?  Or do you be yourself through and through and be respectful in all the other ways that seem to matter the most?

 

© Be Nice. Creator and Be Nice.(somethingsonice.wordpress.com), 2009.

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One thought on “Dressing for the occassion

  1. Hi Be Nice!
    I know I have been a terrible friend and failed to comment in the past but I thought on this rainy day I might just toss two cents in. I think there are a few occasions where an event can and should dictate a certain type of decorum and dress. This has perhaps not so much to do with conformity and not allowing one to be themselves but honoring a tradition. You might argue that this (honoring a tradition) falls into the realm of conformity but I think there is a slight distinction here. Traditional dress in certain instances is something that allows people to bond (even just aesthetically) with one another at a certain occasion where as conformity has to deal more with acceptance or being ostracized.
    The nice thing is, I think you have the opportunity to dictate the type of “traditional dress” you want at your wedding….whether it be formal, casual, naked or whatever. Your guests will understand what it means to be “traditionally-informal” if that is what you decide.
    If you and your husbad to be decide that you are not having a formal affair than by all means you and your guests wouldn’t dress formally. Whatever style of wedding you decide to have (even if it is in t-shirts and jeans) you should decide on one that matches one another…if you do this and make this understood to your guests than everyone will feel comfortable and bonded to each other through their choice of clothes. After all…isn’t that what marriage is…bonding together, presenting you and your husband as one, no longer preoccupied with your individual identities but going forth as one unit bonded by love? Hopefully you and your husbands stomachs won’t be turning because of your collective choice in wardrobe on your happy occasion 🙂

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